Twenty Two

When I was thirteen, I couldn’t wait to be eighteen. I thought I’d know it all by then, have all the answers and that prized freedom. And when I was sixteen, I planned to be married by age twenty-five with one kid. I’ll always smile to myself when I think about how time changes things.

And a funny thing happens about the time you turn twenty.two. People start asking about marriage and kids and houses. And you begin to worry about savings, retirement, and health insurance. And sometimes you start to compare your 22 years with everyone else’s. You wonder if you’re on the right track because it’s different from all the people you’re surrounded by. You start going to your friends weddings and buying baby gifts. And suddenly you realize you’re at the exact age that seemed so far away just five years ago.

I’ve always liked including myself in the 20.something. category.  Growing up, but not quite grown up. You’re an adult, but still recognize that you’re part kid. I’ve enjoyed the navigating of adulthood and all of my new first time experiences. A new job. my first ‘grown-up’ paycheck. growth. But it seems like the older I’ve gotten, the more aware I’ve become of my short-lived stay in the ‘twenties’ and the pressure to fit the mold of all of the rest of the twentytwoers.

I’ve started to think about how easy it is to become controlled by our age. And the expectation of what your age signifies to everyone else. How old you should be by the time you graduate. Buy your first house. Get married. Have kids. Start your retirement. Suddenly it seems like there are all these benchmarks to meet, even when they don’t match the goals you are trying to reach. Forget molds.

Because as easy it is to forget, you’re free to do what you want with your life. The problem is, that can be quite the responsibility, to live your life the way you want to, rather than they way you are expected to. Especially if that means taking a big jump. And especially when that jump may feel like a free fall. Maybe quit your first job and go back to school if that feels right. Get married or don’t. Maybe you drop out of school or chop off your hair. Maybe you change your mind. End  a relationship that no longer serves you. Become a different person. Maybe you move away or move back home. Or maybe you’re scared to do these things because it’s uncomfortable and unexpected. Maybe it’s because you don’t know if everything would fall into place or you’re scared what that would mean if it did.

And when you’re in your twenties, I hope you travel the world and read lots of new books. I hope you have interesting conversations over warm cups of tea. Set goals and change them. Write a book. Change your mind. Start new friendships and let go of the ones that you need to. Say goodbye to all of the things that have kept you stagnant and vow to keep moving forward.

But what I really mean to say is that I hope you aren’t held back because of a number. And that you don’t rush into things because it feels like time is slipping by. I hope you do what’s right for you. Hold on. Slow down. And breathe in. Your age is your age. But more importantly, your life is your life. Don’t change your journey so that it matches someone elses. We need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. Revel in the differences. And enjoy where you are. Here. Right here.

Oh ya, and I just wanna say 'Thank You' to everyone for all of the birthday wishes. It means a lot to me that you all took the time from your busy lives to wish me a happy birthday, and I feel very blessed to have each and every one of you.

FYI: Kenapa diatas ada dua kue, yang satu lagi belong to Satria Kasih. We share the same 'best day of the year'.. ^^ SK21.

There is nothing in this world that is worth achieving more than the love from family and friends. I achieved this on my birthday. I could not be any more thankful!